abstract 'doing' .....

My weekends off start on Fridays. I have the day to myself as my partner has taken Micah to daycare for the day and that means I am free to go about as I please. I have had my tea and  now my mind begins to roll infinitely with all the things that I could possibly do today. I am forever one who fills the day with tasks and then, and only then, will I be able to feel that I have accomplished anything. It's not really a good thing for me to do because I have filled my plate far too full, far too often only to have less than optimal results. I end up exhausted and spent both physically and mentally. I have always struggled with this concept of doing. But even as I write about this I can understand that if I sit quietly and relax with a cup of tea or read a book, that I am in fact 'doing' something. There may not necessarily be anything to hand to you at the end of that time and say....'here, look at what I did', but I will have done something. So my accomplishment is an abstract one as opposed to something that is physical in existence. It can't be held, touched, seen or felt. But it's there. And more importantly I did it for myself. 

I only truly have one commitment today and anything else that comes about will be by choice. So I will look at what my choices might allow and move ahead from there with my day. 

It fascinates me that I continue to learn and grow in spite of the fact that I might have thought that I learned a certain lesson before. I can know what to do but the actual carrying out of this can be my hurdle. But I keep on learning and the choices come quicker and quicker knowing that I must keep myself happy and not look back at the end of the day and wish that my choices had been different. 

Aah......life is so interesting. 

That is all for now. I must move on with my day.

Blessings to all,

Maggie

humility........

This word sprung into my thoughts several days ago as I was listening to the program 'Q' on CBC. I often listen to previous show of Q as I get ready for work. There was nothing prominent about what I was listening to except the tone of voice that the interviewee displayed. It was with his voice and tone that the word 'humility' came to mind and now my mind is exploring all of what humility might mean.

The first thing that comes to mind is that I see it as getting out of the way of yourself and letting things be as they are. No changing, no forcing, no excusing, no creating.... nothing. Just letting things be the way they are and accepting it for what it is. I see it as a calm, quiet and respectful state. And given all of that, I also see it as something that is difficult to embrace and maintain in this frenzied world that we all live in. It is so easy to get caught up in all that is surrounding us and yet living a life of humbleness is a far greater gift to give to oneself, rather than all of the anxiety that life often holds. It will show the world your true character.

There are many lovely quotes for humility. I will share some of these here.

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less." ~ C.S. Lewis

"Do you wish to rise. You plan a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility." ~ Saint Augustine

"You cannot produce trust, just like you cannot 'do' humility. It either is or is not." Wm. Paul Young 

"Humility is my table, respect is my garment, empathy is my food and curiosity is my drink. As for love, it has a thousand names and is by my side at every window." ~ Tariq Ramadan

All of these quotes just say it so well. That we need to be our humble self and let that be at the core of who we are. Interestingly enough I believe that it is unknowingly at the core of who we are and as we navigate through life and this world, it becomes clothed in the garments of selfishness and ego. These layers must be shed so that we can be who we truly are. Even when I think of the word 'humble', I feel a calmness. It does not conjure up feelings of anxiety or fear. It just feels easy and ok. That sounds so simple doesn't it?....especially given that we are faced with so much each and every day that challenges us and our integrity .......but simple it truly can be if you choose to live this way and reveal what we know is deep inside of you and the 'you' that the Creator knew you were all along.

May you day be filled with simple pleasures.......

Blessings,

Maggie

over thinking.....

Yesterday was a busy day in my mind......way, way too busy. I had a day filled with 'thinking'. I've come to understand over many years and from previous experiences that 'thinking' can be a good thing. It can produce good results and can move a person further along in life. It can allow you to see things as they truly are and help you to come to a greater understanding of that which you are processing. These are the effects of positive 'thinking'. Then there are days like yesterday where I was guilty of 'over-thinking'. It was a matter of over-thinking, thinking stuck on 'repeat', in the past thinking, future-thinking, re-thinking, circular thinking and any other kind of negative thinking possible. All in all, it created an atmosphere in my mind that was not a good one and by the end of it all I was no further ahead than when it all started. And I spent hours inside of this whirl of 'thinking'. My mood was overwrought with worry and concern for something that wasn't even a reality, but that didn't seem to matter as I continued with this pattern. It's like a saying that I once heard and part of it was that 'worry goes round and round'. And that was truly what was happening yesterday. It was like a carousel ride that was on full speed and out of control. It was like being in a 'funk' that you can't rid yourself of. It was as though something had taken over my mind and I could not let it go. 

As I reflect today on the events in my mind yesterday, I have a much different sense. My mind feels lighter today and that is possibly a result of a 'new' day (sometimes that is what we need to move on) and the fact that I was able to go to that place of better logic in my mind today to process this all better. I was able to share with my partner this morning and engage in conversation that helped me to come to a place of positive comfort rather than where I had been. Today it almost seems silly, but yesterday it consumed me. So as much as I have worked on my personal growth for many, many years it remains evident that I can have days where that growth seems to be buried somewhere deep inside of me and I have to go through these times where I search again to bring myself to that place of understanding and balance. Understanding that the 'work' on ourselves is never done is sometimes disappointing and other times comforting. Knowing that we can still grow and become wiser and a better person for ourselves and others is a wonderful thing. My growth is present today and will still need some 'tending' but I'm on the right path.....and thankfully so.

Blessings to all,

Maggie

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