sad tears.....

I have cried many tears since hearing of the death of a former partner. We parted company a year ago and it was time for this to happen...... in fact it was long overdue. We both knew that it was. We had each moved on and my life is now filled with a newness that I have not felt in a long time. It makes me very happy where I have arrived at in life. Given all of that I have been somewhat surprised at the depth of my sadness and all the tears that I have shed over the passing of this gentleman. We didn't part company on the best of terms, but I think it is still sad when a person leaves this earth at such a young age and so quickly. It was the shock of it happening so quickly that affected me most. And much of it could have been prevented. I won't go into a long tale of what that was all about but it speaks for itself. We choose to live our lives in certain ways and we must be prepared for what the outcomes of that might be. We choose our consequences is what I am saying.

I think the tears are beginning to subside and for that I am grateful. It is so draining to feel all of this emotion for so long. I have been exhausted for days now and need to get back to my normal self. I understand that this is all a process and I have been able to talk it through with friends and family.

I know he came into my life for a reason and when we parted that reason was complete. He in fact said he knew we would not be together forever. He was wise. So, my lessons from him were spiritual ones and I will always be grateful for those gifts. They shaped who I am today and will live with me always.

This chapter is now officially closed but the lessons will live on forever.

Blessings,

Maggie

I do believe........

Every time I go for my massage appointment this is what I am greeted with........ 

saying good-bye....

It has been a very difficult last few days. I heard last week that the man that I had lived with for many years was in hospital and then this week had passed away. This was both sad and shocking news to me. I have not been together with him for over a year and we had not maintained any contact but this was still very overwhelming to hear. I maybe had not been with him any longer but we had shared a life for many years and it's the memories that are now coming to the surface. Our paths in the beginning crossed where we worked together and it was his spiritual teachings that I enveloped myself in as we shared a life together. He was one of my most influential spiritual teachers. Our paths before we parted company were going in different directions, but I am forever grateful for the spiritual teacher that he was. I in fact told him this as we discussed our parting because I felt that it was important for him to know this.

the beach at Port Bruce yesterday

He had a habit of always going to the beach at Port Bruce, just a short drive away, early in the morning usually and would walk the length of it like a meditation. It was something that was special for him and brought him peace. He would take this time to think and be alone. Most times he would come home with several rocks in his pocket that he would have picked up on the beach and they would collect in baskets around the house. Other times driftwood found its way home so that he could make it into drumsticks to go with the drums that he would craft. Yesterday I felt I needed to go there and say my good-bye to him. I knew it was the right thing to do for myself. I drove there midday and parked the car in front of the beach. There were not many people there except for a few fishermen along the length of the pier. I was able to walk in silence and reflect on our life together. I knew him well. I knew him very well. I'm sure he knew this was coming and I'm sure he had come to accept it. He had told me many times he was not afraid to die. There is some solace in knowing that for him. My sadness is big as he leaves this earthly place with a life that to me seems unlived. But yet this was the life he chose before he even arrived here......at least that is what I believe. He provided many of us with his knowledge and spiritual guidance and I will believe that this was his path in life. It was not a life that was to be for his own good, but for ours. I wish it could have been more balanced for him but I guess not this time. Who knows what his next chapter will be.

it was always about the stones

As I walked the beach I came to stand and look over the water and all of a sudden I was surrounded by 8 or 9 bright green dragonflies. They were huge! He knew that the dragonfly is one of my power animals and I'm certain that he sent each and every one of them to encircle me. At the same time a hawk soared overhead silently. He loved watching the hawks. It was all perfect. I said thank you and turned to walk back to my car. I stopped one last time before I left the beach and looked up to the sky and offered my thanks for his gifts........and I quietly said 'good-bye'.

I know I can go there anytime and his spirit will be there.

he is in amongst the clouds

It seems surreal to me that he is no longer on this earth but I understand that his life's purpose is now complete and he is no longer needed here. If my memories will allow to come into play for a moment my wish is that if he returns to earthly form at some time I hope that it will be in the Piazza San Marco as he loved it so! He could be a musician in one of the orchestras that play each evening and that way he could spend his nights in a place that he so enjoyed. 

Blessings to you all.......

Maggie

humility........

This word sprung into my thoughts several days ago as I was listening to the program 'Q' on CBC. I often listen to previous show of Q as I get ready for work. There was nothing prominent about what I was listening to except the tone of voice that the interviewee displayed. It was with his voice and tone that the word 'humility' came to mind and now my mind is exploring all of what humility might mean.

The first thing that comes to mind is that I see it as getting out of the way of yourself and letting things be as they are. No changing, no forcing, no excusing, no creating.... nothing. Just letting things be the way they are and accepting it for what it is. I see it as a calm, quiet and respectful state. And given all of that, I also see it as something that is difficult to embrace and maintain in this frenzied world that we all live in. It is so easy to get caught up in all that is surrounding us and yet living a life of humbleness is a far greater gift to give to oneself, rather than all of the anxiety that life often holds. It will show the world your true character.

There are many lovely quotes for humility. I will share some of these here.

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less." ~ C.S. Lewis

"Do you wish to rise. You plan a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility." ~ Saint Augustine

"You cannot produce trust, just like you cannot 'do' humility. It either is or is not." Wm. Paul Young 

"Humility is my table, respect is my garment, empathy is my food and curiosity is my drink. As for love, it has a thousand names and is by my side at every window." ~ Tariq Ramadan

All of these quotes just say it so well. That we need to be our humble self and let that be at the core of who we are. Interestingly enough I believe that it is unknowingly at the core of who we are and as we navigate through life and this world, it becomes clothed in the garments of selfishness and ego. These layers must be shed so that we can be who we truly are. Even when I think of the word 'humble', I feel a calmness. It does not conjure up feelings of anxiety or fear. It just feels easy and ok. That sounds so simple doesn't it?....especially given that we are faced with so much each and every day that challenges us and our integrity .......but simple it truly can be if you choose to live this way and reveal what we know is deep inside of you and the 'you' that the Creator knew you were all along.

May you day be filled with simple pleasures.......

Blessings,

Maggie

my daily prayer......

Divine Creator........thank you for this day and all days that have gone before and all days that are yet to come. May I live this day with grace, sensitivity and compassion. May I live this day knowing that you are with me and surround me at all times. May I live this day knowing that you watch over me always. May you also watch over ........... and bring them peace. I thank you for your kind blessings and the abundance that you bring to my life and all of mankind. Amen.