a year gone by...

It's been a year since I have populated this blog and it feels good to be here. I have been musing of late to begin a new blog because of the life event in the way of a significant birthday, but now it seems quite alright to continue on here. There needs not be anything 'new', so I will simply carry on ..... as does my life.

Yes, one week ago today (and it seems much longer), I had my 60th birthday. It has been so interesting the lead up to this day. I have reflected on this number much over the past months. It seemed to me that this birthday in particular had a feeling wrapped around it that I found sometimes difficult to understand. And by no mean was this a bad or ominous feeling, but just something of a nature that I for a while could not describe. It wasn't that I was trying to deny my age, which I have never done. And then it occurred to me that the word I kept hearing in my mind was the word 'urgent'. This word in itself does not at least for me conjure up a positive reflection, but this was the word that kept resonating with me. So I pondered just what this meant for me.

I have come into my "third third" in life. In other words I have reached the score of years that will take me from 60 to 80. The number 60 was a tough one for me to accept for a while.  I thought it  reflected 'oldness'. I remember other milestone birthdays in various ways. When I reached 30 I thought I was finally really a 'big girl' and when 40 came about I thought I knew most everything about life there was to know.... (ha). Then when I turned 50 I realized just how wrong I was about 30 and 40 yrs of age. Now at age 60 life is so different and of course so much of that is due to different responsibilities that my life has compared to previous years. I continue to have the pressures of work, but view them in a different light than before. Retirement is on the horizon and within reach (although I would like it to be sooner than later). I am no longer active in raising my family so those responsibilities are not in the forefront although being a parent never ceases.

The urgent part of my life now extends to what my priorities will be in my life from this time on. How will I live my days and what will I make decisions based on. There is no time to waste in each day that I am given. Each day is precious. I am by no means feeling morose about this sense of urgency, but instead it allows me to realize how important things in life are whether they are of large or small importance. I feel that I can finally give myself 'permission' to live a simpler way of life than in years past. Permission was often difficult for me because of pressures I placed on myself and now I have let a lot of those strings go and this feels quite ok. All of this has evolved over the past many years and now arriving at age 60 it seems to clarify it perfectly. My path is laid out in front of me and how I navigate along that path is of my own choosing to embrace. My wise mind resides closer to the surface these days and this is like a wellspring of knowledge that affords me comfort. I will never purport to know everything and make perfect decisions but I have the wisdom to understand what is best for me and how that might look in my life.

These next 20 years will involve the possibility of many changes in my life. I look forward to them and will embrace them as my life unfolds. My life won't be perfect I'm sure, but it will be the best life that I choose to live based on my history. It's time to live well. It's time to live simply. It's just simply time for so much to embrace in life.

Namaste,
Maggie

BE HAPPY…...

This hangs in our stairwell to remind us each day of those things that will make us HAPPY!

 

September days......

I sit here in early morning and realize that the days of summer are coming to an end soon as we have entered into September quietly over the weekend. September seems to transition into our lives in a way that does not have the applause of June or July, but is simply September. A time when we all know that summer is slipping away and the days of cool fall mornings and the sleepiness of flora will begin. As much as I have enjoyed summer I know that it is time to move on. Our bodies have the inner sense and intuition that hibernation is near. For myself it has been at least a month already where I have at times had the longing of a brisk winter day where I am cocooned in my home with a pot of nourishing soup on the stove and the scent of fresh bread wafting from the oven. I'm not sure if global weather changes cause my body to respond sooner to this desire or if there is something within me that needs to be nourished sooner than later. I do believe that our bodies know what we need and our inner wisdom is not to be ignored. My mind has been engaged in thoughts of winter months as I have been preserving much of the local harvest over the last several weeks and am drawn to how fortunate we will be to have all of these delicious foods grace our table on those cold, blustery days. Days where my mind will hearken back to the summer and how I stood in my kitchen and prepared foods for us to partake of in winter. Our bodies go through these seasonal changes without even a thought on our part. It is simply who we are as resonant beings. I'm drawn to different things at this time of year and as much as I know I am having to give up things that I love from summer, it is time to let go of those things and welcome Fall into my life. My body will yearn for something different and will understand what it needs without my having to decide for it. I love this innate wisdom that exists within us all. We don't have to ask for it or learn it, as it is inside of us from as far back as the day when we were born, but the key to it all is to listen to what we need. It's that little whisper inside of us that is always ready to look after us in the best way possible. I know for myself I need to begin to engage in my nurturing in a different way than I needed to in the summer months. Summer is a time of activity that is often faster paced and jam-packed and I find that by the time September is upon us I am ready to slow down and relax. For me it's just time to do just that. I know I have a few days work left in the kitchen to fill up the root cellar shelves a bit more, but as the harvest is still upon us and I must work with the harvest to fulfil this. But after that is done it is then time to step back and take a break. It's as though the Fall eases us into the winter months where we can rest and recharge ourselves for the upcoming Spring and Summer that will always follow. It's a cycle that has been with us since the beginning of time but I think when we acknowledge it the transition is somewhat easier. My needs change as the seasons change and it's the recognition of this that will allow us to live our best lives.

Blessings,
Maggie

soul to soul........

"Step aside from your busy day today and look soul to soul into someone else's eyes.......your day will brighten right then and there, right in front of you ......because at at the end of the day we only have each other...."

Just my early morning thoughts as I stood on the porch waving good-bye to my love as she drove off to work. We get caught up in moments of our busy lives, but I can carry with me the look we shared as we connected for a brief moment before she left......a soul to soul connection. Ours alone. 

Morning blessings, 

Maggie

yoga is back.........

In the midst of the events that took place these past couple of weeks, it made me look at a few things and prompted me to make some changes. I think I live a pretty balanced life in many areas but there  is always room to improve. I really go in fits & starts with my exercise regime and I feel like it's time again to address that. I'm a woman who is in her late 50's and I really want to maintain my fitness so that as I age I can continue to participate in life easily without having limitations because of a diminished physical status. I used to do a lot of power walking, but winter seems to be a better time for me to do that at the local track at the community centre. I don't want to go to a gym as its an expense I would rather do without. I would rather spend that money on our trips to the market to buy healthy food choices. So I thought that it was maybe time again to do some yoga, which I can easily do in the comfort of my own home. I have done lots of yoga in the past and the rewards are always so deep. It's not just a bit of stretching of the body physically, but it also stretches the mind in many ways. I spoke with my partner Kelly about it and she agreed that she would like to try it also. It now also is turning into something that we can do together. Yoga is new to her so we are heading into it slowly which is fine for both of us since I haven't done any in a long time. 

Our bodies were designed to move and yet our everyday movement is truly not enough. Yes, we walk and move daily, but to actually spend time in an activity that is designed to work on muscles is what is so important. There will be so many dividends paid in terms of how the yoga will help us in mind, body & spirit. It is not only a physical activity but there is a mental component that is part of it also. It has a meditative element that is greatly beneficial to our wellness. It is also about the 'breath' element. Breathing is a big part of our health and wellness. How our breath moves through our body is important to each and every cell in our body. I see even our food choices being affected by the element of yoga as they relate to our wellness. When I go to pick something to eat either for a snack or a meal I make that choice by being more invested in my health and wellness so I will tend to make a better choice. I believe that all of these elements combined allow us to move through our day and life in a more balanced way. Mind, body & spirit all working together as one. We were given the gift of a human body and it is our responsibility to nurture and take care of it. 

We began 2 days ago and I can honestly say I feel a difference already. I can feel the fact that my muscles have been stretched in various ways and I must say that I LOVE the feel of that! There is something about the feel of the 'stretch' that makes me enjoy the yoga so much. I feel as though my body is waking up and the cells are being invigorated with movement. I think the cells are happy with my choice to incorporate movement into my exercise regime and will give back to me in ways that increase my health and wellness. They are smiling because they are happy that I am taking care of them! I know, that maybe sounds silly but that's the way I look at it. If I am good to my body, my body will be good back to me. Maybe my 'stretching' high is like a runners 'high'. It makes me look forward to our next yoga session and when you miss one you truly can't wait to get back to it! 

So we have begun our yoga journey and I feel that it is going to be a really great one in so many ways! We will both be able to enjoy together the rewards that it will bring to us. We have set a goal and when you do this with someone else there is that level of accountability that goes along with it and it helps you to stay on track and keep a good focus.

So yoga is back in my life and I'm happy about that. It's thirty or so minutes out of my day that will add up to so many benefits over time. That is a small price to pay for wellness in so many areas of my life. 

I hope that you have some time in your day to devote to your wellness. It's just so important. 

Blessings, 

Maggie

my garden Buddha

I just really like him being in my garden...... a quiet presence

I do believe........

Every time I go for my massage appointment this is what I am greeted with........ 

life.......

 After having heard of a sad event that took place this week it tends to make me struggle with the fact that sometimes things that happen in life just do not seem fair. In this way life remains a mystery that we are not privy to. We always want answers or think we know the answer, but there are many things that happen that we do not have the answer to. And I trust that this is the way it is supposed to be. Not fair?? Well, we are not the one to answer that I guess. So I surrender knowing the answer to the greater power that lives among us.

Blessings,

Maggie

abstract 'doing' .....

My weekends off start on Fridays. I have the day to myself as my partner has taken Micah to daycare for the day and that means I am free to go about as I please. I have had my tea and  now my mind begins to roll infinitely with all the things that I could possibly do today. I am forever one who fills the day with tasks and then, and only then, will I be able to feel that I have accomplished anything. It's not really a good thing for me to do because I have filled my plate far too full, far too often only to have less than optimal results. I end up exhausted and spent both physically and mentally. I have always struggled with this concept of doing. But even as I write about this I can understand that if I sit quietly and relax with a cup of tea or read a book, that I am in fact 'doing' something. There may not necessarily be anything to hand to you at the end of that time and say....'here, look at what I did', but I will have done something. So my accomplishment is an abstract one as opposed to something that is physical in existence. It can't be held, touched, seen or felt. But it's there. And more importantly I did it for myself. 

I only truly have one commitment today and anything else that comes about will be by choice. So I will look at what my choices might allow and move ahead from there with my day. 

It fascinates me that I continue to learn and grow in spite of the fact that I might have thought that I learned a certain lesson before. I can know what to do but the actual carrying out of this can be my hurdle. But I keep on learning and the choices come quicker and quicker knowing that I must keep myself happy and not look back at the end of the day and wish that my choices had been different. 

Aah......life is so interesting. 

That is all for now. I must move on with my day.

Blessings to all,

Maggie

Reflections.......

I had a difficult conversation last evening. All the emotions that came up for me during and after the conversation were ones that reside deep inside of me and some go as far back as my early childhood. It amazes me that as much as I have worked on my emotional and psychological health for many years both professionally and personally, these emotions are still there and come up from time to time. They are not suppressed because I know that I have worked on them and understand them, but they never really leave.  It merely proves to me again that 'cell memory' exists and it can bring back both physical and emotional responses very quickly. In fact in just seconds I can 'feel' just like I did when I was in a previous situation that was similar. Our minds and bodies are amazing.

This morning I am reflective in my thoughts and am taking some time to observe them. I sit in my meditation room with a cup of tea and some quiet music playing. The door to the room is ajar so that all or any of the furbabies can enter the room also if they need to. Currently Micah our Weimaraner lies beside my chair. I have smudged with sage from a special place that I visited with my partner Kelly called Lillooet. It hails from British Columbia where you can simply stop by the roadside and pick some sage. It's scent is so wonderful. I now can also smell the sweet scent of vanilla incense and have said my prayers not only for myself, but also for you, as I pray for all of mankind each day.

As all of this exists around me I can better ground myself and come to understand the emotions I was feeling surrounding the conversation. I can now see it was not at all the content of the conversation that was affecting me, but the way it made me 'feel'. It conjured up feelings and reactions from my past and it felt very uncomfortable. So now I can better work through all of this and come to an understanding of another piece of me. We are complex beings. We are intricate beings. We are hard to understand. But if we take the time to reflect and listen to the voice in our soul.....well, then we often can begin to discover who we really are and why we feel the way we do. It's work.......but, it's good work. Work that we must do to reveal our true selves and then live our best life. The authentic life we were destined to live.

The way I was feeling this morning drew me back to this painting. It is one that was given to me by a friend back in 2000. I look at it and can see myself as the woman sitting on the boat reflecting on her thoughts. I am always drawn to 'the water' when I feel this way and this morning I may be sitting in my meditation room, but I can go to 'the water' through this picture. I close my eyes and I'm there.

I pray that your day has a few quiet moments where you can reflect on life, a few moments where you can witness joy and a few moments where you can know yourself a bit better than you did yesterday. Every day brings growth.........thankfully.

Blessings to all,

Maggie

over thinking.....

Yesterday was a busy day in my mind......way, way too busy. I had a day filled with 'thinking'. I've come to understand over many years and from previous experiences that 'thinking' can be a good thing. It can produce good results and can move a person further along in life. It can allow you to see things as they truly are and help you to come to a greater understanding of that which you are processing. These are the effects of positive 'thinking'. Then there are days like yesterday where I was guilty of 'over-thinking'. It was a matter of over-thinking, thinking stuck on 'repeat', in the past thinking, future-thinking, re-thinking, circular thinking and any other kind of negative thinking possible. All in all, it created an atmosphere in my mind that was not a good one and by the end of it all I was no further ahead than when it all started. And I spent hours inside of this whirl of 'thinking'. My mood was overwrought with worry and concern for something that wasn't even a reality, but that didn't seem to matter as I continued with this pattern. It's like a saying that I once heard and part of it was that 'worry goes round and round'. And that was truly what was happening yesterday. It was like a carousel ride that was on full speed and out of control. It was like being in a 'funk' that you can't rid yourself of. It was as though something had taken over my mind and I could not let it go. 

As I reflect today on the events in my mind yesterday, I have a much different sense. My mind feels lighter today and that is possibly a result of a 'new' day (sometimes that is what we need to move on) and the fact that I was able to go to that place of better logic in my mind today to process this all better. I was able to share with my partner this morning and engage in conversation that helped me to come to a place of positive comfort rather than where I had been. Today it almost seems silly, but yesterday it consumed me. So as much as I have worked on my personal growth for many, many years it remains evident that I can have days where that growth seems to be buried somewhere deep inside of me and I have to go through these times where I search again to bring myself to that place of understanding and balance. Understanding that the 'work' on ourselves is never done is sometimes disappointing and other times comforting. Knowing that we can still grow and become wiser and a better person for ourselves and others is a wonderful thing. My growth is present today and will still need some 'tending' but I'm on the right path.....and thankfully so.

Blessings to all,

Maggie

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