first new year post ….

I found that over the months of 2014 I was an off and on again blogger for reasons that weren't entirely clear even to myself. I do know that over the last few months of the year I was simply ok with not blogging and had even thought of quietly closing the blog. I chuckle inside with that because I'm not sure anyone would have noticed that. My blog is truly only a place where I write what may be on my mind and if it is something that is of interest to anyone else then that is ok too. But I do like to write and put words together to create a thought. I don't look for followers and don't expect any. It's just all ok with me.

During the last quarter of the year I seemed to have a quiet place inside of me that simply didn't want to speak through the blog. I have checked in on other blogs from time to time and found that they are also  empty of words and life for the blogger is at that time no longer through the keyboard. And that is all ok.

Looking back now as I exist one week into the new year, I feel that 2014 was a year of settling in to life as it now surrounds me. For me that involves my relationship of 2 years and finding the rhythm that works for the two of us. Relationships are multi-faceted and layers deep because any two people that comprise the relationship are similarly vast. This can create difficulties often but finding an ebb and flow of understanding is the path that will find the least resistance. It seems that we have become these intense creatures who want so strongly to remain an individual that there is a subliminal fear of becoming less of who you are if you relent in a relationship to the other individual. It's just not so though. It was a dance for myself that found it's cadence in 2014. It has in turn also made me a better person I feel because I can now exist inside of the relationship and not feel vulnerable by compromising any part of who I am. I have a history of leaving a part of myself behind and becoming someone else or maybe call it 'half of who I really was'. But now it feels as though I have 'come of age'…..and I smile as I write that because a part of me then is also saying ….. 'finally'. And I can honestly share that I have felt this before, but something feels new this time. It feels real. It feels right. And it has come from a depth inside of me that has an awareness. That wise place that comes with age. That wise place that comes from appreciated experience. There will always be that mental ebb and flow, but the return to that wise place lies in one's power to eventuate in a more rapid fashion allowing a fuller life to exist in each moment.

Settling into life for me hopefully means that the flux has found it's conclusion, but I also know that nothing is forever carved in stone and challenges will present themselves but inner wisdom will prevail if given the chance. Knowing is a more comfortable process in life rather than it feeling open-ended. When we look deep inside of ourselves we often know exactly what our answer is, but we often do not want to acknowledge the answer. It's ok, it's all a growing process and a coming of age. Everyone comes to it at a different pace. Life is like that. And when it arrives you will feel that long deep sigh that acknowledges your arrival.

Live your life well. Life will give you what you bring to it. Access your inner wisdom and create the life you desire. Seek and you will find. Listen and you will hear.

I wish you all the best.

In love and light,

Maggie

the psychology of food…..

It's been several weeks now that we began this journey of wellness specifically regarding the food that we eat. When I had previously thought about a reboot or a cleanse and then following a nutrition plan that would support losing weight and our wellness, it all seemed like a great idea. As the day neared that we were going to begin, an interesting thought process began to take place in my head. It was as though I was going to have to grieve the 'loss' of some of what we normally ate and this bothered me more than I realized it would. I was thinking of all the things that I was going to have to give up and the list just seemed to keep getting longer. All I could think of were the foods that I might never get to eat again! My mind was immediately taken over by such words as ''can't have" and "deprivation". It was as though I was going to be punished now so that I in turn could be well and I would have to make a trade-off to do so. All of my focus was on the negative aspects of what I was going to have to do to achieve my goal. I was focusing on how hard it was going to be and how I was going to be missing out on so many foods that I would normally enjoy. And yet many of these foods were some that led to the weight gain and some did not further my wellness.  I remember distinctly realizing that this kind of thinking would do nothing to make my goal feel and be attainable. Who wants to feel deprived? Who wants to feel like there is a mountain of work ahead of you? Who wants to feel like there is a long list of foods that you can never eat again? I came to an understanding that if I was going to be successful that my focus needed to be on all the foods that were going to bring me closer to my goals.

There are many foods that we have not eaten since we began this journey. It's interesting to note that I do not miss them as much as I thought I would. I can truly say that I have not felt deprived of these foods and realize quickly that partaking of them would not bring me closer to my current and immediate goals. I'm not going to say that I will never again eat a dessert or breads but they will not take on the same role in my diet as they did previously. I know what makes me feel well and what will not and that too much of something will leave me with a negative balance as opposed to a positive one. It has been important to be checking in with Sarah our RHN and she provides us with support and encouragement in the way of her knowledge and also recipes for us to follow. We do our weigh in and cheek in with our Tanita scale stats. I feel that we have been doing great so far on this journey that we have chosen to take and can see that many of the changes we have made will be ones that will carry on for us even after our goals have been achieved. Feeling well and reaping its benefits are a way of life. We know that we don't have to be purists to be successful, but making good choices will always bring us closer to our goal of wellness rather than farther away from it. Good food = good health, along with a peaceful mind and a calm spirit.

Wishing you wellness,

Maggie

Our healthy journey…..

Several weeks ago we made the decision that we were going to embark on a journey that would see us increase our potential for good health and 'eat to live' essentially. Life is busy and we both have stressful jobs and this translates into effects on our bodies that warrant attention. Our nutrition is compromised by the needs that our bodies require to process the stress inside of us each and every day. Nutrients are used to combat the effects of stress and if we are not eating well to begin with then the effects will be quite damaging. So we decided to make changes for ourselves that would have us invest in our own futures. Changes that include methods of stress reduction and a nutritional approach to look at what we eat. We were already eating probably at least 50-60% organic, were cooking from scratch always, had eliminated most processed foods from our diet and yet we knew there was always room for improvement. We contacted Sarah, a Registered Holistic Nutritionist and our journey began. I have an extensive background in nutrition but we wanted to do this right and have support along the way from a professional. Our goals were to lose weight and provide our bodies with the foods that would support wellness in the best way possible.

For myself I am very much enjoying the journey because I know I am doing good things for this body of mine. I can admit that I just recently turned 58 and I want to create an existence of wellness for myself that will support many more years of an active and productive life. In order to do that I chose to create this wellness path. I have a solid foundation in terms of nutritional knowledge and awareness and this has allowed me to feel relatively well for many years, but I still felt that I could feel better. I was beginning to feel a bit 'achey' a lot of the time and this disturbed me quite a bit. I felt as though I was becoming 'old'. Eeek!…..I do not want to feel that way and therefore the desire to make this change began. I had given up sugar several years ago, but it did seem to be creeping back into my diet from time to time and my biggest challenge was going to be giving up butter! I have a love affair with butter and I knew that I had to break the ties of this relationship to where we could simply be friends but no longer lovers…. lol.

We are following along with a meal plan and particular recipes currently while we work with Sarah for several weeks, but our plan is to make changes in our food choices and create a lifestyle that supports our nutritional wellness at all times. It will simply become a way of life for us. Right now we are still in the intensive stages where we have to follow along with the designated meal choices and this does require a lot of prepatory work, but if it is not done then it is setting us up for failure and that is not a choice we want for ourselves. Our refrigerator has never been so full of vegetables !

I will continue to blog about the journey and share how things are going. I truly feel that 'we are what we eat' and the effects that it has on our bodies is summed up in how we feel and move through our day. Food affects our mind and our bodies and we have no one to blame but ourselves when we make poor choices. I've made those poor choices and then regret them pretty quickly after I did. For me it's now time to make the good choices and reap the rewards.

We start our day with a hot cup of Lemon Ginger tea to help us detox and cleanse our liver which is an organ that is so important in terms of our body functioning well. I have come to love this cup of tea each morning!

Benefits of lemon include : 

• cleanse the bloodstream and liver
• aid digestion
• boost the immune system
• prevent heart disease and cancer
• lower blood cholesterol levels
• lower high blood pressure 
• stimulate the liver
• reduce inflammation

Benefits of ginger include :

• remedy for nausea, morning sickness, upset stomach, indigestion, vomiting, motion sickness and cramps
• promotes healing of inflammation 
• helps lower blood pressure
• reduces fever
• reduces cholesterol
• prevents internal blood clots
• aids circulation
• eases asthma symptoms 

*NOTE - avoid consuming ginger in large amts if you take an anti-coagulant as it can thin the blood further and taking more than 3 gms of ginger at a time can cause stomach upset. 

I simply use the juice of half a lemon and grate a 1/2" piece of ginger (use organic if possible - I don't peel the ginger then) and steep it in hot water for several minutes…..and then enjoy! Your body will love you for it each morning! 

Have a great day filled with good choices!! 

Maggie

Health information on ginger and lemons taken from Prescription for Dietary Wellness by Phyliss Balch, CNC

my flu shot choice…….

I've had this commentary running through my head for a while now. It involves the policies that many institutions are setting in place regarding the flu season and particularly the way that those persons choosing not to get the flu shot will be treated. I understand that a policy needs to be in place but I beg to differ with the content at times. The most common policy for most facilities present day is that if there is a flu outbreak, the staff that have not had the flu shot will be sent home without pay because they cannot apparently offer any protection to their patients. This year the newest trend is for those that are non-compliant to wear a mask when there is an outbreak. I can deal with either of these policies and they will not sway my decision to be able to 'choose' how I approach my wellness. What I do differ with is that those of us who choose to not have the shot have been referred to as being a threat not only to patients but to people in society as a whole. My, oh my, those are very strong words. I also recently read that there is a correlation between patient mortality and the level of compliance of staff receiving the flu shot. Once again very strong words. It feels to me that those of us who choose 'personal choice' are made out to be the undesirables who in fact are out to harm others by having made this choice. I can only speak for myself but this ideology to me is so far from my truth that it greatly disappoints me and I am personally offended. I do my best each and every day to live a life that will support my wellness on all levels. It is a holistic health philosophy that I choose to participate in 12 months of the year as opposed to a moment where I will receive an injection that will magically make me be what they want me to be.

 I feel as though my efforts to live a life filled with healthy choices is completely negated by the fact that my personal choice is to not receive the flu shot. My wellness plan involves supporting my immunity during the entire year and boosting it during the flu season. My wellness plan involves so much more and yet it seems to count for nothing.

We all are allowed to make a choice and I have made mine. To live my life as best I can every day and promote my wellness similarly……..that's all.

Wishing health and wellness for all,

Maggie

hmm.....

Sunday.... day three in my world of working weekends. So glad for it to be here and will make it through fine. I make it sound like its such a dreadful thing but in reality it is a long 36 hours to work in three days. It does have its payoff in the end and that is the ring you keep reaching for. The time change was also last night and there is always a sense of nervousness in that I always hope that I have done the right thing with the alarm so as to awaken me at the right time. During the night I awoke and at that time I checked my phone and saw that it had changed by itself and I thought that I had changed the clock properly, but in fact I hadn't. I was awake early though and Kelly checked in with me in a sleepy voice to ask if my alarm had gone off and was I getting up. It was a 'no' and then a 'yes' to those pointed questions on the first day of the time change and I quickly placed my feet on the floor and began my morning ritual for work.

This is when Autumn really sets in for me and the days becoming shorter are the proverbial sign of the cold weather arriving on our doorstep. It's a time that I have had to bring myself to embrace as I am not one who enjoys the cold. The thoughts of winter scenes of freshly fallen snow with the sun creating diamond like sparkles are romanticized in my mind and capturing these moments in reality keep me focused on making it through my winter months. Give me an afternoon curled up on the sofa with a blanket to keep my warm and a good book and I'm a happy girl ....... add a cup of hot tea or a glass of wine and I am even happier. In the cold months I have to create an atmosphere to live in that will nurture me through what I have always disliked. This works for me now and lets me reach for Spring more easily.

Namaste,

Maggie

the floor we walk on.......

Kelly and I have been working on renovations to the house for over a year now. It has taken us this long because there has been so much to do. I have lived here for 20 years and over time the house has become dated and some things that needed attention just didn't take priority. When Kelly and I decided to live together it was a perfect opportunity for us redecorate and renovate and renew! I was thrilled in that Kelly is very handy and can do a lot of the work herself. I don't have those kind of skills but am able to help out with whatever else might be needed. Once the renovations are completed the house will only resemble itself from its basic structure. Pretty much everything else has been transformed with paint, carpeting, light fixtures, vanity, counters, window coverings and even a new garden bed in the front yard. The next and biggest project for us to undertake is the tile flooring that we are going to be putting in this week. This is seriously a big job and it makes me a bit nervous when I think about the enormity of it! It's ironic that we both admit that we are becoming a bit weary of all the renovations and here we are now with the biggest job of all. Did we save the best for last?? Well, it could be that we did! It has been a challenge right from the start of making the decision to having tile flooring. The colour choice ended up being so different from what we thought we wanted but we feel now we have made the right choice. We had a lot to take into account as the tile will be in three rooms and the hallway so it had to look right everywhere. Then the measure and the ordering. When we signed on the dotted line it was a done deal and there was no turning back! It was ordered and the call came in that it was ready for pick up..... all 475 sq. feet of it! My back will never forget the day we unloaded all those boxes from the truck and stacked them in the garage. It was the heaviest lifting I have ever done, but we did it together and after it was all done I said that it was now coming in the house just one tile at a time! lol!! It took all of yesterday for my back to feel normal again. So now the fun begins and we start with our biggest project ever! I will post photos as we move along in the process!

Here is a pic of all the tiles on the skids at the hardware store ready to be loaded into the truck. It was a back breaking job but we managed to get it all stacked in the garage and now it's ready for the floors!  

And here's a picture of the small bathroom downstairs that will be for my Reiki clients when they come for treatment. It has been completely transformed and I think looks beautiful! 

More pictures will follow to let you see how the tile floor turns out. I can't wait to get started! 

Maggie

the wise choice......

I blogged yesterday and noted that I had so many things that I wanted to get done. Well, I can truly say that I did accomplish many things and yet it is this morning right now that I am simmering the pear jam on the stove! So as you know the pear jam didn't get done but it was for the right reasons. I had a busy day yesterday with many things on my agenda and did the prep work for the jam throughout the day but by the time I was ready to put all the ingredients in the pot it was 4:30. The 'get it done' part of me pulled the pot out of the cupboard, looked at the clock and sighed deeply knowing that I was in for another couple of hours of work and then my 'wise mind' took over and said..... 'No, it's getting too late in the day to start the canning process now'. Now in the past the 'get it done' part of me would have thought that this was the 'wise' thing to do in an effort to complete the task and be able to then subconsciously reward myself for a job well done. I would have thought it was fine to push myself to the edge to get it done. I would have though interrupted our dinner time and yesterday I would have actually missed out on a Harley ride with Kelly. I have in the past pushed myself to get things done and then I didn't have to 'feel bad' for not doing what I had set out to do. It was a form of self criticism that carried over from early childhood parental criticism and neither has any benefit. As I have become older and 'wiser' I am able to see the difference that a decision can make. I would have upset my own applecart so to speak yesterday if I had continued with my task at hand. I would have missed our Harley ride and I would have tried to make dinner amongst the jam process which would have been very frustrating and a dinner prepared while feeling that way will not feed your soul. I also would have been more exhausted than I already was and I was truly tired after a long, busy day. There was no need to rush the process and 'tick' it off my list of things I wanted to do yesterday. There was no need to say 'look at all the things I did today', because I still did plenty. We have these preconceived notions that we are less than ourselves if we don't get done what we set out to do. I now know that it's all ok to fall short of my plans. It's just plain ok. There is no longer that subconscious report card at the end of the day that says I did good or bad and if someone else thinks that way about me then I'm sorry for that but I'm taking care of my wellness by making that decision. It's a mind game that we play with ourselves and I will admit I have done it for too many years of my life and now I know better. Yesterday was a quick catch on my wise mind's part to tell my 'other half' that it was ok to leave it and deal with it today. So the prepped pears went into the refrigerator and off we went on the bike for a great ride in the country. Jam I can make today.

This is what I would have missed if I had chose to finish the jam.........enough said.

Make wise choices.......

Maggie

saying good-bye....

It has been a very difficult last few days. I heard last week that the man that I had lived with for many years was in hospital and then this week had passed away. This was both sad and shocking news to me. I have not been together with him for over a year and we had not maintained any contact but this was still very overwhelming to hear. I maybe had not been with him any longer but we had shared a life for many years and it's the memories that are now coming to the surface. Our paths in the beginning crossed where we worked together and it was his spiritual teachings that I enveloped myself in as we shared a life together. He was one of my most influential spiritual teachers. Our paths before we parted company were going in different directions, but I am forever grateful for the spiritual teacher that he was. I in fact told him this as we discussed our parting because I felt that it was important for him to know this.

the beach at Port Bruce yesterday

He had a habit of always going to the beach at Port Bruce, just a short drive away, early in the morning usually and would walk the length of it like a meditation. It was something that was special for him and brought him peace. He would take this time to think and be alone. Most times he would come home with several rocks in his pocket that he would have picked up on the beach and they would collect in baskets around the house. Other times driftwood found its way home so that he could make it into drumsticks to go with the drums that he would craft. Yesterday I felt I needed to go there and say my good-bye to him. I knew it was the right thing to do for myself. I drove there midday and parked the car in front of the beach. There were not many people there except for a few fishermen along the length of the pier. I was able to walk in silence and reflect on our life together. I knew him well. I knew him very well. I'm sure he knew this was coming and I'm sure he had come to accept it. He had told me many times he was not afraid to die. There is some solace in knowing that for him. My sadness is big as he leaves this earthly place with a life that to me seems unlived. But yet this was the life he chose before he even arrived here......at least that is what I believe. He provided many of us with his knowledge and spiritual guidance and I will believe that this was his path in life. It was not a life that was to be for his own good, but for ours. I wish it could have been more balanced for him but I guess not this time. Who knows what his next chapter will be.

it was always about the stones

As I walked the beach I came to stand and look over the water and all of a sudden I was surrounded by 8 or 9 bright green dragonflies. They were huge! He knew that the dragonfly is one of my power animals and I'm certain that he sent each and every one of them to encircle me. At the same time a hawk soared overhead silently. He loved watching the hawks. It was all perfect. I said thank you and turned to walk back to my car. I stopped one last time before I left the beach and looked up to the sky and offered my thanks for his gifts........and I quietly said 'good-bye'.

I know I can go there anytime and his spirit will be there.

he is in amongst the clouds

It seems surreal to me that he is no longer on this earth but I understand that his life's purpose is now complete and he is no longer needed here. If my memories will allow to come into play for a moment my wish is that if he returns to earthly form at some time I hope that it will be in the Piazza San Marco as he loved it so! He could be a musician in one of the orchestras that play each evening and that way he could spend his nights in a place that he so enjoyed. 

Blessings to you all.......

Maggie

life.......

 After having heard of a sad event that took place this week it tends to make me struggle with the fact that sometimes things that happen in life just do not seem fair. In this way life remains a mystery that we are not privy to. We always want answers or think we know the answer, but there are many things that happen that we do not have the answer to. And I trust that this is the way it is supposed to be. Not fair?? Well, we are not the one to answer that I guess. So I surrender knowing the answer to the greater power that lives among us.

Blessings,

Maggie

abstract 'doing' .....

My weekends off start on Fridays. I have the day to myself as my partner has taken Micah to daycare for the day and that means I am free to go about as I please. I have had my tea and  now my mind begins to roll infinitely with all the things that I could possibly do today. I am forever one who fills the day with tasks and then, and only then, will I be able to feel that I have accomplished anything. It's not really a good thing for me to do because I have filled my plate far too full, far too often only to have less than optimal results. I end up exhausted and spent both physically and mentally. I have always struggled with this concept of doing. But even as I write about this I can understand that if I sit quietly and relax with a cup of tea or read a book, that I am in fact 'doing' something. There may not necessarily be anything to hand to you at the end of that time and say....'here, look at what I did', but I will have done something. So my accomplishment is an abstract one as opposed to something that is physical in existence. It can't be held, touched, seen or felt. But it's there. And more importantly I did it for myself. 

I only truly have one commitment today and anything else that comes about will be by choice. So I will look at what my choices might allow and move ahead from there with my day. 

It fascinates me that I continue to learn and grow in spite of the fact that I might have thought that I learned a certain lesson before. I can know what to do but the actual carrying out of this can be my hurdle. But I keep on learning and the choices come quicker and quicker knowing that I must keep myself happy and not look back at the end of the day and wish that my choices had been different. 

Aah......life is so interesting. 

That is all for now. I must move on with my day.

Blessings to all,

Maggie

early morning......

It's early morning here and I have already been up for at least an hour. I always get up seriously early on my work days to allow myself plenty of time to get ready and then to also sit quietly and have some time for myself before heading into a long day of work. My job is as a nurse and we work 12 hour shifts so it's important for me to head into that in the best state of mind that I am able to be in. After all the tasks are done to present myself to work and also have my meals to eat there are ready I head to my mediation room so that I can sit quietly and let my mind be still for a time. This has always been important for me.

This morning I have smudged with a beautiful sage that we bought when we were in the west last fall. It has a special name from the region it is harvested from and it escapes me this morning but I will ask my partner today and let you all know from where it came. It is such a beautiful scent. There is music softly playing and this morning a choice of vanilla incense also wafts in the air. I have done a crossing for 3 souls that were not yet home and then also did some self Reiki to allow my day to flow well. That included a long distance sending to my workplace which will enhance my day also.

All of this is what allows me to stay in balance with myself and life. I will say that there are times that I veer away from some of these practices but inevitably I alway instinctively know to return and find that peace that it brings me. Our lives are busy and fraught with so much that can make us lose our peaceful perspective. This makes it all the more important for us to take some time out of our day to focus on our inner space and create that calm and peaceful being for ourselves that we know is there. It is simply a matter of unlocking the door and letting it come out and shine. Ah, I say 'simply', well it can be simple if we allow it to be. But so much of the time we place roadblocks on our path of peace and calm. Maybe look at clearing some of them away, even just one cleared will allow for a better focus. Even if you only begin with 5 minutes of your own uninterrupted time. Let it be yours and only yours and let your mind be clear and calm. Try it on for size and see if it fits. I think it just might.

I must go now. Blessings to all and may you find 5 minutes of peace today.

Hugs,

Maggie

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simply a bad decision.....

I work as a nurse and I have been on night shift the last 2 nights. I don't like to work nights as they get me all turned around and I have difficulty sleeping. I'm off today so I only slept 3 hours given that I don't want to waste my day off sleeping and when I got up I wanted to clear some things out of my mind so I decided to go for my power walk. I often walk at our local community centre since it has a walking track around the top of the ice rink. I do find sometimes that it is somewhat boring so today I opted for an outdoor walk. I like to take in people's landscaping and gardens and just the nice summer weather. What I didn't factor into the whole thing was the fact that it is 31 degrees celsius out today! So I'm tired and dealing with being turned around from nights and have an issue on my mind and I go out for my walk. Well, that was a total mistake and I'm surprised that I'm even writing this blog post! I could have easily collapsed and been taken to the hospital! So now I have contracted with myself that if the temperature is more than 25 degrees celsius I will not walk in the outdoors, but instead go to the track and walk under safe conditions.

I'm still learning after all these years!

Blessings,

Maggie

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