This hangs in our stairwell to remind us each day of those things that will make us HAPPY!
Showing posts with label lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lessons. Show all posts
Thursday, 30 October 2014
Monday, 30 December 2013
coming to an understanding…….
I have slept and still I ruminate so I need to blog. I sit with my tea this morning and think back to my experiences this past weekend at work and how they have left me empty in so many ways. It is not a new feeling, but it surfaces from time to time and we all feel it. It eats at us for a few days and then we accept it and move on because we know that nothing will be different except in how we deal or reckon with it.
I won't get into detail except to say that the conditions that we all worked under this weekend were ones that stretched our abilities to the maximum. What we are expected to deliver as a health care professionals under normal circumstances, we were not capable of over the past several days.
The frustration set in early on Friday and I recall standing in front of a co-worker and my eyes filling with tears while I said "I know I'm not doing a good job today as a nurse". And it barely got much better over the next two days.
We all have standards that are both professional and personal regarding our careers and mine personally mean a lot to me. It's what lends me to be the nurse that I have become over the past 36 years. I'm not naive to know that there will be days that are more difficult than others and circumstances that will challenge us. We are trained to deal with all of that and yet this past weekend we found ourselves in situations that took us even further.
My biggest let down is the lack of support that I felt from my own organization. Nothing that filtered down to me the nurse on the front line. For me this could have gone a long way in letting me know that they knew just how hard we were pushing to keep things going so that our patients were being looked after. But I wasn't allowed that privilege even once.
As I thought about all of this after a well deserved rest I was led back to a book that I read so many years ago. A book that I have bought at least 4 times and keep giving it away to someone who might need it more than me. A book that has been so much on my mind lately that when I ordered a Christmas gift online I tucked this little book into the order with it. The book is called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The basis of this little book is simple. There are four agreements that we can use in our lives to help us to navigate through life in a more understanding fashion. They are as follows :
There is a part of me that wanted to be less than impeccable and scream at someone about all of this and yet I know quite well that my efforts would have been less than well received and there are times that I believe proper delivery of word is key to getting your point across. Sometimes even less words have more of an impact than too many.
There is a tendency to 'take this personally' and this is often the tough one to let go of. I have to remember that decisions made at a level above me are not directed at me 'personally' and not even as a collective group, but rather are made from a completely different perspective. One that I may not feel is right, but then remembering that I have no control over that.
I had the silly 'assumption' that when we were working under such extreme conditions that it would have been nice for someone to have come along and showed or expressed just how much our efforts meant. Once again I only need to re-read # 3. "Don't make assumptions" because in assuming I will inevitably be let down…… and I was. So feeling let down is my own fault.
Now # 4 is the biggie! Always do your best even when its under difficult conditions. This can be a challenge because a person really has to focus on what is happening in the moment of delivering patient care and forget about how frustrated you might be. Just do the task at hand and do it well. It is with this understanding that I do my best that I am able to leave each shift and go home knowing that I did the best that I could given the circumstances that I worked under.
So maybe this all happened so that I will sit down again with this little book and read it once more. These four simple agreements are good mantras to keep in mind on this journey that we call Life.
May your day be filled with love & light.
Maggie
I won't get into detail except to say that the conditions that we all worked under this weekend were ones that stretched our abilities to the maximum. What we are expected to deliver as a health care professionals under normal circumstances, we were not capable of over the past several days.
The frustration set in early on Friday and I recall standing in front of a co-worker and my eyes filling with tears while I said "I know I'm not doing a good job today as a nurse". And it barely got much better over the next two days.
We all have standards that are both professional and personal regarding our careers and mine personally mean a lot to me. It's what lends me to be the nurse that I have become over the past 36 years. I'm not naive to know that there will be days that are more difficult than others and circumstances that will challenge us. We are trained to deal with all of that and yet this past weekend we found ourselves in situations that took us even further.
My biggest let down is the lack of support that I felt from my own organization. Nothing that filtered down to me the nurse on the front line. For me this could have gone a long way in letting me know that they knew just how hard we were pushing to keep things going so that our patients were being looked after. But I wasn't allowed that privilege even once.
As I thought about all of this after a well deserved rest I was led back to a book that I read so many years ago. A book that I have bought at least 4 times and keep giving it away to someone who might need it more than me. A book that has been so much on my mind lately that when I ordered a Christmas gift online I tucked this little book into the order with it. The book is called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The basis of this little book is simple. There are four agreements that we can use in our lives to help us to navigate through life in a more understanding fashion. They are as follows :
- Be impeccable with your word.
- Don't take anything personally.
- Don't make assumptions.
- Always do your best.
There is a part of me that wanted to be less than impeccable and scream at someone about all of this and yet I know quite well that my efforts would have been less than well received and there are times that I believe proper delivery of word is key to getting your point across. Sometimes even less words have more of an impact than too many.
There is a tendency to 'take this personally' and this is often the tough one to let go of. I have to remember that decisions made at a level above me are not directed at me 'personally' and not even as a collective group, but rather are made from a completely different perspective. One that I may not feel is right, but then remembering that I have no control over that.
I had the silly 'assumption' that when we were working under such extreme conditions that it would have been nice for someone to have come along and showed or expressed just how much our efforts meant. Once again I only need to re-read # 3. "Don't make assumptions" because in assuming I will inevitably be let down…… and I was. So feeling let down is my own fault.
Now # 4 is the biggie! Always do your best even when its under difficult conditions. This can be a challenge because a person really has to focus on what is happening in the moment of delivering patient care and forget about how frustrated you might be. Just do the task at hand and do it well. It is with this understanding that I do my best that I am able to leave each shift and go home knowing that I did the best that I could given the circumstances that I worked under.
So maybe this all happened so that I will sit down again with this little book and read it once more. These four simple agreements are good mantras to keep in mind on this journey that we call Life.
May your day be filled with love & light.
Maggie
Thursday, 19 September 2013
the wise choice......
I blogged yesterday and noted that I had so many things that I wanted to get done. Well, I can truly say that I did accomplish many things and yet it is this morning right now that I am simmering the pear jam on the stove! So as you know the pear jam didn't get done but it was for the right reasons. I had a busy day yesterday with many things on my agenda and did the prep work for the jam throughout the day but by the time I was ready to put all the ingredients in the pot it was 4:30. The 'get it done' part of me pulled the pot out of the cupboard, looked at the clock and sighed deeply knowing that I was in for another couple of hours of work and then my 'wise mind' took over and said..... 'No, it's getting too late in the day to start the canning process now'. Now in the past the 'get it done' part of me would have thought that this was the 'wise' thing to do in an effort to complete the task and be able to then subconsciously reward myself for a job well done. I would have thought it was fine to push myself to the edge to get it done. I would have though interrupted our dinner time and yesterday I would have actually missed out on a Harley ride with Kelly. I have in the past pushed myself to get things done and then I didn't have to 'feel bad' for not doing what I had set out to do. It was a form of self criticism that carried over from early childhood parental criticism and neither has any benefit. As I have become older and 'wiser' I am able to see the difference that a decision can make. I would have upset my own applecart so to speak yesterday if I had continued with my task at hand. I would have missed our Harley ride and I would have tried to make dinner amongst the jam process which would have been very frustrating and a dinner prepared while feeling that way will not feed your soul. I also would have been more exhausted than I already was and I was truly tired after a long, busy day. There was no need to rush the process and 'tick' it off my list of things I wanted to do yesterday. There was no need to say 'look at all the things I did today', because I still did plenty. We have these preconceived notions that we are less than ourselves if we don't get done what we set out to do. I now know that it's all ok to fall short of my plans. It's just plain ok. There is no longer that subconscious report card at the end of the day that says I did good or bad and if someone else thinks that way about me then I'm sorry for that but I'm taking care of my wellness by making that decision. It's a mind game that we play with ourselves and I will admit I have done it for too many years of my life and now I know better. Yesterday was a quick catch on my wise mind's part to tell my 'other half' that it was ok to leave it and deal with it today. So the prepped pears went into the refrigerator and off we went on the bike for a great ride in the country. Jam I can make today.
This is what I would have missed if I had chose to finish the jam.........enough said.
This is what I would have missed if I had chose to finish the jam.........enough said.
Make wise choices.......
Maggie
Friday, 26 July 2013
sad tears.....
I have cried many tears since hearing of the death of a former partner. We parted company a year ago and it was time for this to happen...... in fact it was long overdue. We both knew that it was. We had each moved on and my life is now filled with a newness that I have not felt in a long time. It makes me very happy where I have arrived at in life. Given all of that I have been somewhat surprised at the depth of my sadness and all the tears that I have shed over the passing of this gentleman. We didn't part company on the best of terms, but I think it is still sad when a person leaves this earth at such a young age and so quickly. It was the shock of it happening so quickly that affected me most. And much of it could have been prevented. I won't go into a long tale of what that was all about but it speaks for itself. We choose to live our lives in certain ways and we must be prepared for what the outcomes of that might be. We choose our consequences is what I am saying.
I think the tears are beginning to subside and for that I am grateful. It is so draining to feel all of this emotion for so long. I have been exhausted for days now and need to get back to my normal self. I understand that this is all a process and I have been able to talk it through with friends and family.
I know he came into my life for a reason and when we parted that reason was complete. He in fact said he knew we would not be together forever. He was wise. So, my lessons from him were spiritual ones and I will always be grateful for those gifts. They shaped who I am today and will live with me always.
This chapter is now officially closed but the lessons will live on forever.
Blessings,
Maggie
I think the tears are beginning to subside and for that I am grateful. It is so draining to feel all of this emotion for so long. I have been exhausted for days now and need to get back to my normal self. I understand that this is all a process and I have been able to talk it through with friends and family.
I know he came into my life for a reason and when we parted that reason was complete. He in fact said he knew we would not be together forever. He was wise. So, my lessons from him were spiritual ones and I will always be grateful for those gifts. They shaped who I am today and will live with me always.
This chapter is now officially closed but the lessons will live on forever.
Blessings,
Maggie
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