first new year post ….

I found that over the months of 2014 I was an off and on again blogger for reasons that weren't entirely clear even to myself. I do know that over the last few months of the year I was simply ok with not blogging and had even thought of quietly closing the blog. I chuckle inside with that because I'm not sure anyone would have noticed that. My blog is truly only a place where I write what may be on my mind and if it is something that is of interest to anyone else then that is ok too. But I do like to write and put words together to create a thought. I don't look for followers and don't expect any. It's just all ok with me.

During the last quarter of the year I seemed to have a quiet place inside of me that simply didn't want to speak through the blog. I have checked in on other blogs from time to time and found that they are also  empty of words and life for the blogger is at that time no longer through the keyboard. And that is all ok.

Looking back now as I exist one week into the new year, I feel that 2014 was a year of settling in to life as it now surrounds me. For me that involves my relationship of 2 years and finding the rhythm that works for the two of us. Relationships are multi-faceted and layers deep because any two people that comprise the relationship are similarly vast. This can create difficulties often but finding an ebb and flow of understanding is the path that will find the least resistance. It seems that we have become these intense creatures who want so strongly to remain an individual that there is a subliminal fear of becoming less of who you are if you relent in a relationship to the other individual. It's just not so though. It was a dance for myself that found it's cadence in 2014. It has in turn also made me a better person I feel because I can now exist inside of the relationship and not feel vulnerable by compromising any part of who I am. I have a history of leaving a part of myself behind and becoming someone else or maybe call it 'half of who I really was'. But now it feels as though I have 'come of age'…..and I smile as I write that because a part of me then is also saying ….. 'finally'. And I can honestly share that I have felt this before, but something feels new this time. It feels real. It feels right. And it has come from a depth inside of me that has an awareness. That wise place that comes with age. That wise place that comes from appreciated experience. There will always be that mental ebb and flow, but the return to that wise place lies in one's power to eventuate in a more rapid fashion allowing a fuller life to exist in each moment.

Settling into life for me hopefully means that the flux has found it's conclusion, but I also know that nothing is forever carved in stone and challenges will present themselves but inner wisdom will prevail if given the chance. Knowing is a more comfortable process in life rather than it feeling open-ended. When we look deep inside of ourselves we often know exactly what our answer is, but we often do not want to acknowledge the answer. It's ok, it's all a growing process and a coming of age. Everyone comes to it at a different pace. Life is like that. And when it arrives you will feel that long deep sigh that acknowledges your arrival.

Live your life well. Life will give you what you bring to it. Access your inner wisdom and create the life you desire. Seek and you will find. Listen and you will hear.

I wish you all the best.

In love and light,

Maggie

BE HAPPY…...

This hangs in our stairwell to remind us each day of those things that will make us HAPPY!

 

the wise choice......

I blogged yesterday and noted that I had so many things that I wanted to get done. Well, I can truly say that I did accomplish many things and yet it is this morning right now that I am simmering the pear jam on the stove! So as you know the pear jam didn't get done but it was for the right reasons. I had a busy day yesterday with many things on my agenda and did the prep work for the jam throughout the day but by the time I was ready to put all the ingredients in the pot it was 4:30. The 'get it done' part of me pulled the pot out of the cupboard, looked at the clock and sighed deeply knowing that I was in for another couple of hours of work and then my 'wise mind' took over and said..... 'No, it's getting too late in the day to start the canning process now'. Now in the past the 'get it done' part of me would have thought that this was the 'wise' thing to do in an effort to complete the task and be able to then subconsciously reward myself for a job well done. I would have thought it was fine to push myself to the edge to get it done. I would have though interrupted our dinner time and yesterday I would have actually missed out on a Harley ride with Kelly. I have in the past pushed myself to get things done and then I didn't have to 'feel bad' for not doing what I had set out to do. It was a form of self criticism that carried over from early childhood parental criticism and neither has any benefit. As I have become older and 'wiser' I am able to see the difference that a decision can make. I would have upset my own applecart so to speak yesterday if I had continued with my task at hand. I would have missed our Harley ride and I would have tried to make dinner amongst the jam process which would have been very frustrating and a dinner prepared while feeling that way will not feed your soul. I also would have been more exhausted than I already was and I was truly tired after a long, busy day. There was no need to rush the process and 'tick' it off my list of things I wanted to do yesterday. There was no need to say 'look at all the things I did today', because I still did plenty. We have these preconceived notions that we are less than ourselves if we don't get done what we set out to do. I now know that it's all ok to fall short of my plans. It's just plain ok. There is no longer that subconscious report card at the end of the day that says I did good or bad and if someone else thinks that way about me then I'm sorry for that but I'm taking care of my wellness by making that decision. It's a mind game that we play with ourselves and I will admit I have done it for too many years of my life and now I know better. Yesterday was a quick catch on my wise mind's part to tell my 'other half' that it was ok to leave it and deal with it today. So the prepped pears went into the refrigerator and off we went on the bike for a great ride in the country. Jam I can make today.

This is what I would have missed if I had chose to finish the jam.........enough said.

Make wise choices.......

Maggie

soul to soul........

"Step aside from your busy day today and look soul to soul into someone else's eyes.......your day will brighten right then and there, right in front of you ......because at at the end of the day we only have each other...."

Just my early morning thoughts as I stood on the porch waving good-bye to my love as she drove off to work. We get caught up in moments of our busy lives, but I can carry with me the look we shared as we connected for a brief moment before she left......a soul to soul connection. Ours alone. 

Morning blessings, 

Maggie

yoga is back.........

In the midst of the events that took place these past couple of weeks, it made me look at a few things and prompted me to make some changes. I think I live a pretty balanced life in many areas but there  is always room to improve. I really go in fits & starts with my exercise regime and I feel like it's time again to address that. I'm a woman who is in her late 50's and I really want to maintain my fitness so that as I age I can continue to participate in life easily without having limitations because of a diminished physical status. I used to do a lot of power walking, but winter seems to be a better time for me to do that at the local track at the community centre. I don't want to go to a gym as its an expense I would rather do without. I would rather spend that money on our trips to the market to buy healthy food choices. So I thought that it was maybe time again to do some yoga, which I can easily do in the comfort of my own home. I have done lots of yoga in the past and the rewards are always so deep. It's not just a bit of stretching of the body physically, but it also stretches the mind in many ways. I spoke with my partner Kelly about it and she agreed that she would like to try it also. It now also is turning into something that we can do together. Yoga is new to her so we are heading into it slowly which is fine for both of us since I haven't done any in a long time. 

Our bodies were designed to move and yet our everyday movement is truly not enough. Yes, we walk and move daily, but to actually spend time in an activity that is designed to work on muscles is what is so important. There will be so many dividends paid in terms of how the yoga will help us in mind, body & spirit. It is not only a physical activity but there is a mental component that is part of it also. It has a meditative element that is greatly beneficial to our wellness. It is also about the 'breath' element. Breathing is a big part of our health and wellness. How our breath moves through our body is important to each and every cell in our body. I see even our food choices being affected by the element of yoga as they relate to our wellness. When I go to pick something to eat either for a snack or a meal I make that choice by being more invested in my health and wellness so I will tend to make a better choice. I believe that all of these elements combined allow us to move through our day and life in a more balanced way. Mind, body & spirit all working together as one. We were given the gift of a human body and it is our responsibility to nurture and take care of it. 

We began 2 days ago and I can honestly say I feel a difference already. I can feel the fact that my muscles have been stretched in various ways and I must say that I LOVE the feel of that! There is something about the feel of the 'stretch' that makes me enjoy the yoga so much. I feel as though my body is waking up and the cells are being invigorated with movement. I think the cells are happy with my choice to incorporate movement into my exercise regime and will give back to me in ways that increase my health and wellness. They are smiling because they are happy that I am taking care of them! I know, that maybe sounds silly but that's the way I look at it. If I am good to my body, my body will be good back to me. Maybe my 'stretching' high is like a runners 'high'. It makes me look forward to our next yoga session and when you miss one you truly can't wait to get back to it! 

So we have begun our yoga journey and I feel that it is going to be a really great one in so many ways! We will both be able to enjoy together the rewards that it will bring to us. We have set a goal and when you do this with someone else there is that level of accountability that goes along with it and it helps you to stay on track and keep a good focus.

So yoga is back in my life and I'm happy about that. It's thirty or so minutes out of my day that will add up to so many benefits over time. That is a small price to pay for wellness in so many areas of my life. 

I hope that you have some time in your day to devote to your wellness. It's just so important. 

Blessings, 

Maggie

my garden Buddha

I just really like him being in my garden...... a quiet presence

sad tears.....

I have cried many tears since hearing of the death of a former partner. We parted company a year ago and it was time for this to happen...... in fact it was long overdue. We both knew that it was. We had each moved on and my life is now filled with a newness that I have not felt in a long time. It makes me very happy where I have arrived at in life. Given all of that I have been somewhat surprised at the depth of my sadness and all the tears that I have shed over the passing of this gentleman. We didn't part company on the best of terms, but I think it is still sad when a person leaves this earth at such a young age and so quickly. It was the shock of it happening so quickly that affected me most. And much of it could have been prevented. I won't go into a long tale of what that was all about but it speaks for itself. We choose to live our lives in certain ways and we must be prepared for what the outcomes of that might be. We choose our consequences is what I am saying.

I think the tears are beginning to subside and for that I am grateful. It is so draining to feel all of this emotion for so long. I have been exhausted for days now and need to get back to my normal self. I understand that this is all a process and I have been able to talk it through with friends and family.

I know he came into my life for a reason and when we parted that reason was complete. He in fact said he knew we would not be together forever. He was wise. So, my lessons from him were spiritual ones and I will always be grateful for those gifts. They shaped who I am today and will live with me always.

This chapter is now officially closed but the lessons will live on forever.

Blessings,

Maggie

I do believe........

Every time I go for my massage appointment this is what I am greeted with........ 

saying good-bye....

It has been a very difficult last few days. I heard last week that the man that I had lived with for many years was in hospital and then this week had passed away. This was both sad and shocking news to me. I have not been together with him for over a year and we had not maintained any contact but this was still very overwhelming to hear. I maybe had not been with him any longer but we had shared a life for many years and it's the memories that are now coming to the surface. Our paths in the beginning crossed where we worked together and it was his spiritual teachings that I enveloped myself in as we shared a life together. He was one of my most influential spiritual teachers. Our paths before we parted company were going in different directions, but I am forever grateful for the spiritual teacher that he was. I in fact told him this as we discussed our parting because I felt that it was important for him to know this.

the beach at Port Bruce yesterday

He had a habit of always going to the beach at Port Bruce, just a short drive away, early in the morning usually and would walk the length of it like a meditation. It was something that was special for him and brought him peace. He would take this time to think and be alone. Most times he would come home with several rocks in his pocket that he would have picked up on the beach and they would collect in baskets around the house. Other times driftwood found its way home so that he could make it into drumsticks to go with the drums that he would craft. Yesterday I felt I needed to go there and say my good-bye to him. I knew it was the right thing to do for myself. I drove there midday and parked the car in front of the beach. There were not many people there except for a few fishermen along the length of the pier. I was able to walk in silence and reflect on our life together. I knew him well. I knew him very well. I'm sure he knew this was coming and I'm sure he had come to accept it. He had told me many times he was not afraid to die. There is some solace in knowing that for him. My sadness is big as he leaves this earthly place with a life that to me seems unlived. But yet this was the life he chose before he even arrived here......at least that is what I believe. He provided many of us with his knowledge and spiritual guidance and I will believe that this was his path in life. It was not a life that was to be for his own good, but for ours. I wish it could have been more balanced for him but I guess not this time. Who knows what his next chapter will be.

it was always about the stones

As I walked the beach I came to stand and look over the water and all of a sudden I was surrounded by 8 or 9 bright green dragonflies. They were huge! He knew that the dragonfly is one of my power animals and I'm certain that he sent each and every one of them to encircle me. At the same time a hawk soared overhead silently. He loved watching the hawks. It was all perfect. I said thank you and turned to walk back to my car. I stopped one last time before I left the beach and looked up to the sky and offered my thanks for his gifts........and I quietly said 'good-bye'.

I know I can go there anytime and his spirit will be there.

he is in amongst the clouds

It seems surreal to me that he is no longer on this earth but I understand that his life's purpose is now complete and he is no longer needed here. If my memories will allow to come into play for a moment my wish is that if he returns to earthly form at some time I hope that it will be in the Piazza San Marco as he loved it so! He could be a musician in one of the orchestras that play each evening and that way he could spend his nights in a place that he so enjoyed. 

Blessings to you all.......

Maggie

life.......

 After having heard of a sad event that took place this week it tends to make me struggle with the fact that sometimes things that happen in life just do not seem fair. In this way life remains a mystery that we are not privy to. We always want answers or think we know the answer, but there are many things that happen that we do not have the answer to. And I trust that this is the way it is supposed to be. Not fair?? Well, we are not the one to answer that I guess. So I surrender knowing the answer to the greater power that lives among us.

Blessings,

Maggie