saying good-bye....

It has been a very difficult last few days. I heard last week that the man that I had lived with for many years was in hospital and then this week had passed away. This was both sad and shocking news to me. I have not been together with him for over a year and we had not maintained any contact but this was still very overwhelming to hear. I maybe had not been with him any longer but we had shared a life for many years and it's the memories that are now coming to the surface. Our paths in the beginning crossed where we worked together and it was his spiritual teachings that I enveloped myself in as we shared a life together. He was one of my most influential spiritual teachers. Our paths before we parted company were going in different directions, but I am forever grateful for the spiritual teacher that he was. I in fact told him this as we discussed our parting because I felt that it was important for him to know this.

the beach at Port Bruce yesterday

He had a habit of always going to the beach at Port Bruce, just a short drive away, early in the morning usually and would walk the length of it like a meditation. It was something that was special for him and brought him peace. He would take this time to think and be alone. Most times he would come home with several rocks in his pocket that he would have picked up on the beach and they would collect in baskets around the house. Other times driftwood found its way home so that he could make it into drumsticks to go with the drums that he would craft. Yesterday I felt I needed to go there and say my good-bye to him. I knew it was the right thing to do for myself. I drove there midday and parked the car in front of the beach. There were not many people there except for a few fishermen along the length of the pier. I was able to walk in silence and reflect on our life together. I knew him well. I knew him very well. I'm sure he knew this was coming and I'm sure he had come to accept it. He had told me many times he was not afraid to die. There is some solace in knowing that for him. My sadness is big as he leaves this earthly place with a life that to me seems unlived. But yet this was the life he chose before he even arrived here......at least that is what I believe. He provided many of us with his knowledge and spiritual guidance and I will believe that this was his path in life. It was not a life that was to be for his own good, but for ours. I wish it could have been more balanced for him but I guess not this time. Who knows what his next chapter will be.

it was always about the stones

As I walked the beach I came to stand and look over the water and all of a sudden I was surrounded by 8 or 9 bright green dragonflies. They were huge! He knew that the dragonfly is one of my power animals and I'm certain that he sent each and every one of them to encircle me. At the same time a hawk soared overhead silently. He loved watching the hawks. It was all perfect. I said thank you and turned to walk back to my car. I stopped one last time before I left the beach and looked up to the sky and offered my thanks for his gifts........and I quietly said 'good-bye'.

I know I can go there anytime and his spirit will be there.

he is in amongst the clouds

It seems surreal to me that he is no longer on this earth but I understand that his life's purpose is now complete and he is no longer needed here. If my memories will allow to come into play for a moment my wish is that if he returns to earthly form at some time I hope that it will be in the Piazza San Marco as he loved it so! He could be a musician in one of the orchestras that play each evening and that way he could spend his nights in a place that he so enjoyed. 

Blessings to you all.......

Maggie

life.......

 After having heard of a sad event that took place this week it tends to make me struggle with the fact that sometimes things that happen in life just do not seem fair. In this way life remains a mystery that we are not privy to. We always want answers or think we know the answer, but there are many things that happen that we do not have the answer to. And I trust that this is the way it is supposed to be. Not fair?? Well, we are not the one to answer that I guess. So I surrender knowing the answer to the greater power that lives among us.

Blessings,

Maggie

Reflections.......

I had a difficult conversation last evening. All the emotions that came up for me during and after the conversation were ones that reside deep inside of me and some go as far back as my early childhood. It amazes me that as much as I have worked on my emotional and psychological health for many years both professionally and personally, these emotions are still there and come up from time to time. They are not suppressed because I know that I have worked on them and understand them, but they never really leave.  It merely proves to me again that 'cell memory' exists and it can bring back both physical and emotional responses very quickly. In fact in just seconds I can 'feel' just like I did when I was in a previous situation that was similar. Our minds and bodies are amazing.

This morning I am reflective in my thoughts and am taking some time to observe them. I sit in my meditation room with a cup of tea and some quiet music playing. The door to the room is ajar so that all or any of the furbabies can enter the room also if they need to. Currently Micah our Weimaraner lies beside my chair. I have smudged with sage from a special place that I visited with my partner Kelly called Lillooet. It hails from British Columbia where you can simply stop by the roadside and pick some sage. It's scent is so wonderful. I now can also smell the sweet scent of vanilla incense and have said my prayers not only for myself, but also for you, as I pray for all of mankind each day.

As all of this exists around me I can better ground myself and come to understand the emotions I was feeling surrounding the conversation. I can now see it was not at all the content of the conversation that was affecting me, but the way it made me 'feel'. It conjured up feelings and reactions from my past and it felt very uncomfortable. So now I can better work through all of this and come to an understanding of another piece of me. We are complex beings. We are intricate beings. We are hard to understand. But if we take the time to reflect and listen to the voice in our soul.....well, then we often can begin to discover who we really are and why we feel the way we do. It's work.......but, it's good work. Work that we must do to reveal our true selves and then live our best life. The authentic life we were destined to live.

The way I was feeling this morning drew me back to this painting. It is one that was given to me by a friend back in 2000. I look at it and can see myself as the woman sitting on the boat reflecting on her thoughts. I am always drawn to 'the water' when I feel this way and this morning I may be sitting in my meditation room, but I can go to 'the water' through this picture. I close my eyes and I'm there.

I pray that your day has a few quiet moments where you can reflect on life, a few moments where you can witness joy and a few moments where you can know yourself a bit better than you did yesterday. Every day brings growth.........thankfully.

Blessings to all,

Maggie

my daily prayer......

Divine Creator........thank you for this day and all days that have gone before and all days that are yet to come. May I live this day with grace, sensitivity and compassion. May I live this day knowing that you are with me and surround me at all times. May I live this day knowing that you watch over me always. May you also watch over ........... and bring them peace. I thank you for your kind blessings and the abundance that you bring to my life and all of mankind. Amen.