Reflections.......

I had a difficult conversation last evening. All the emotions that came up for me during and after the conversation were ones that reside deep inside of me and some go as far back as my early childhood. It amazes me that as much as I have worked on my emotional and psychological health for many years both professionally and personally, these emotions are still there and come up from time to time. They are not suppressed because I know that I have worked on them and understand them, but they never really leave.  It merely proves to me again that 'cell memory' exists and it can bring back both physical and emotional responses very quickly. In fact in just seconds I can 'feel' just like I did when I was in a previous situation that was similar. Our minds and bodies are amazing.

This morning I am reflective in my thoughts and am taking some time to observe them. I sit in my meditation room with a cup of tea and some quiet music playing. The door to the room is ajar so that all or any of the furbabies can enter the room also if they need to. Currently Micah our Weimaraner lies beside my chair. I have smudged with sage from a special place that I visited with my partner Kelly called Lillooet. It hails from British Columbia where you can simply stop by the roadside and pick some sage. It's scent is so wonderful. I now can also smell the sweet scent of vanilla incense and have said my prayers not only for myself, but also for you, as I pray for all of mankind each day.

As all of this exists around me I can better ground myself and come to understand the emotions I was feeling surrounding the conversation. I can now see it was not at all the content of the conversation that was affecting me, but the way it made me 'feel'. It conjured up feelings and reactions from my past and it felt very uncomfortable. So now I can better work through all of this and come to an understanding of another piece of me. We are complex beings. We are intricate beings. We are hard to understand. But if we take the time to reflect and listen to the voice in our soul.....well, then we often can begin to discover who we really are and why we feel the way we do. It's work.......but, it's good work. Work that we must do to reveal our true selves and then live our best life. The authentic life we were destined to live.

The way I was feeling this morning drew me back to this painting. It is one that was given to me by a friend back in 2000. I look at it and can see myself as the woman sitting on the boat reflecting on her thoughts. I am always drawn to 'the water' when I feel this way and this morning I may be sitting in my meditation room, but I can go to 'the water' through this picture. I close my eyes and I'm there.

I pray that your day has a few quiet moments where you can reflect on life, a few moments where you can witness joy and a few moments where you can know yourself a bit better than you did yesterday. Every day brings growth.........thankfully.

Blessings to all,

Maggie